Let Her Grow Wings

My sister Megan Owens wrote about the beautiful life of her daughter Adele Grace Owens. Adele's life was more than precious, she was a miracle and a messenger to us all. You can read all about her story below. 

Let Her Grow Wings

It all started September 16th 2013, while I was sitting waiting for the pregnancy test to turn. It felt like one hundred years. As soon as I saw those two pink lines my heart stopped. I panicked and started to cry, I thought to myself, "I'm not ready for a baby, we can't afford it, how are we worthy enough to raise a child??"

I then proceeded to walk over to where Jered was sleeping and hit him to show him what had been his fault! As I knew he would be, he was excited, as I continued to cry. We both decided to keep it a secret for a while just to see how things went. Days turned into weeks and we found ourselves just getting more excited, we just couldn't contain it anymore. We decided to call our parents and let them know. I think we produced about 5 heart attacks! They were so excited they were all going to get a grandbaby. For most of them, it was there first one.

Two weeks later our 10 week appointment finally came and we were to get an ultrasound of our sweet baby. Jered and I could hardly get there quick enough. As I laid there on the table the ultra sound tech began. We heard the beating heart and it brought tears to my eyes. The tech continued and began to grow quiet. She stopped asking me questions. Before we knew it she got up and said she would be back. When she came back she brought three doctors with her. One grabbed my foot and my heart sunk. I, being a nurse, knew this was never going to follow with good news. They proceeded to tell us our baby has Anencephaly.

Anencephaly is the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp that occurs during embryonic development. It is a disorder that results from a neural tube defect that occurs when the head of the neural tube fails to close usually between the 23rd and 26th day of conception. Greek translation literally means ‘no brain’. As they kept going and going I couldn't wait for them to leave. I was trying to hold myself together when all I wanted was my husband. The first thing they said to do was get a DNC to get rid of this child, “it has no life anyway”. They said that typically the baby miscarries on its own and mine hadn't. They said I could have a very complicated pregnancy leading to my death along with the inevitable death of my baby. They said not to wait. When they left Jered and I just died.  A piece of our heart was gone. We called and told our families and ruined their days as well. The doctors scared us so badly that we were going to schedule the procedure. That was the longest weekend. We prayed and prayed and asked God for a sign. We know abortion is wrong but how could we put our child through something like this? Sunday night came and I had a missed call from my doctor. She had said she couldn't sleep and could not stop thinking about our situation. She then said, “as your doctor,  I don't feel right about the DNC, you should wait and see what happens.” Our hearts were filled with happiness and we took this as our sign to wait. 

In the next weeks to follow we decided it was best for us to move back to Arizona. We had been living in Colorado Springs at the time. We knew that if she made it, we would need a lot of help, and we needed our family. So we packed up and moved back. At 22 weeks we found another OB doctor, and went through it all again. Except this time at our ultrasound it showed us that we were having a girl! No surprise there with this family! (I am one of six daughters) We were so excited. How could we get rid of our baby knowing this?

 The doctor then sent us to a specialist to do a more In depth ultrasound. Again, the same diagnosis, the same prognosis. Only this time he said that we were getting close to the legal limit to preform the abortion so we needed to let him know by next week if we were going to get rid of her. He proceeded to tell us all the horrible things that could happen, that I would die, my stomach would be huge because she would not swallow the fluid, my blood pressure would be to high causing many other issues. Enough to continue to scare Jered and I and make us think we were being selfish by keeping her.

That was the longest week of our lives. Trying to decide to abort our baby girl for a legal deadline. Jered was strong through it all. He never wanted to do it. Sadly, I was on the other side and thought considered it. I couldn't stand knowing the pain she might be in if she made it. I thought about her quality of life constantly. When I was going to call the doctor to tell him we were thinking about it, I could not dial the number. I kept staring at my phone and crying, I couldn't bring my self to do it. What kind of mom was I to want to give up so this easily? That to me was my confirmation from God that we were never going to abort her.

I felt Him comfort me and I knew from that point on that God had this. What was I doing trying to take over? Everything so far, everything the doctors said had not happened. Jered and I felt an overwhelming peace.

When our doctor found out our decision to keep her it was a completely different challenge from here on out. He looked at it as ‘we will just do whatever we can to get her out when the time comes, she not going to make it anyway.’ And for a while,  I just continued to trust him. Jered and I were stressed not knowing what to expect, we couldn't plan for anything, we lived minute to minute. We didn't have any resources nowhere to look for help. The idea was she was going to never make it to labor or through delivery so there is no reason to plan since we didn't abort her.

This was getting very frustrating, and wearing us down. We continued to trust in God knowing He could help us get though this and open doors. At one appointment we met with our OB doctors colleague who changed our lives. He had hope for our baby girl and wanted us to have a great experience. He referred us back to Phoenix so we could get more acute care. We met with another specialist who also rooted for our daughter. He looked at her life as valuable, that she did serve a purpose. He was the first person to look Jered in the eyes and say, “Your wife is going to be okay.” He then told us of a doctor who was amazing and would care for us, and would even come in on her day off to deliver the baby. He also told us about a foundation that could help us through this time and help gain control on situations we could not.

Not two days later, I received a call from Embrace Palliative Care Foundation. Sadly, I had never heard of them before, but that moment changed my life forever. Berdette was the one that called me and explained to me their services and that they were a non-profit. We couldn't believe that people did all of this for no compensation, it blew my mind. Berdette coordinated my doctor’s appointments and even met Jered and for the first time at the appointment on her day off. She is also a full time labor and delivery nurse. She coordinated an appointment with a neonatologist who broke down every aspect of our daughter’s condition; what to expect, that it is possible to have her and have her for days or weeks! It was a life-changing week.

As Jered and I traveled to Phoenix every Friday for our appointments, Berdette and Dana (the social worker who also was instrumental in this process), would meet with us just to talk and see how we are and always asked what they could do. They told us to cherish our time now with her, to take her to the zoo, and write to her everyday!

Jered and I could never agree on a name. One night he texted me at work the name Adele with a question mark. My heart melted, I loved it! I had always loved the name Grace so we decided to name her Adele Grace Owens. Meaning noble, kind, tender and God’s favor. If you ever held Adele, all of these summed her up perfectly.

As my due date finally came, Adele didn't! She wasn't ready to leave home. We had another appointment and they said that I would be induced that Wednesday. My heart stopped because Adele had beaten ALL of odds.. She was healthy, her heart was perfect, her lungs had developed perfectly, my blood pressure was great, my stomach never got huge. I felt great! I could still work out, and most of all, she was still in me. We loved knowing she was safe inside not ready to see what happens. Sunday, May 18th rolled around and there was no reason for an induction. Adele was ready to come into the world! We waited to drive down to Phoenix. We labored at home in comfort and cherished our time with Adele before she came. When we did make it to Phoenix I was 7 cm dilated and ready to go! God was also with us during the whole labor process, I was able to do it all natural so as not to slow anything down. She came so quickly! Berdette was able to deliver her, the doctor didn't have time to get there. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The first thing they did was put Adele on my chest she was blue, not crying and my heart sank. We had prayed to God this whole time, to let us kiss our baby girl before she left for heaven, if that was His will. I saw her chest move and take a breath! I was so ecstatic, I asked for Jered to hold her because I had been blessed with nine months carrying her. He got Adele and his heart grew 20 sizes. She kept fighting, kept breathing. He was able to take her to meet everyone. She kept getting stronger and stronger.

After I was all taken care of they brought her back to me and I looked at her and she was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. No words could describe how Adele presence was unless you held her. She was an angel from the beginning.  All our family and friends had been there, they all got to hold and kiss her. We were in awe that she was not only here, but that everyone got to kiss and hold her. She kept on and made it through the night, and the next night. Next thing we know we're putting her into our car to take her home.

That was emotional…what a beautiful symbol of Gods love. We started with ‘she was going to never make it’, to taking her to our home! That hour and a half drive was so happy. The next 4 days at home with her were amazing. Jered got to watch all the classic movies with her that only a father would watch with his daughter…. Rambo, First Blood, The Hulk, Hobbit and Monuments Men. Movies that will now forever be our favorites. Adele loved her daddy more then anything. She would be fussy and crying and as soon as Jered had her she would just stop and look at her daddy. He would never stop kissing her and she knew it was him so she would always pout her lips and try to lick him.

As her mom, there was nothing I loved more then to see the greatest dad in the world hold his daughter. Adele was the most beautiful baby. She changed so much in those 7 days. She loved to eat. She acted just like a normal baby. Although we had our struggles, Adele Grace Owens was a miracle! She did things the doctors said she would never do. We got to fully experience what it was like to be parents. She brought so much joy to her grandparents who spoiled her rotten in 7 days and she knew their love and felt their prayers. Her aunts were head over heals for her! She would love to sit with each of them even when they were crying over her! Adele Grace had to leave us on May 25, 2014. As sad as we are, her life had a purpose, she defeated all odds, she was nothing like they said she ever would be! She was our miracle and angel from God, sent here to show us the true meaning of life, to trust God in every situation no matter how small. If Jered and I hadn't trusted in God, we would have never been touched by this angel who changed our life forever. We will never forget you Adele. May your legacy live on and continue to touch everyone who hears! You are forever in our hearts.