God, You have been stripping me of everything. I have been unable to claim anything as my own. Over the course of this year You have turned my world upside down, and everything that I thought I knew, that I could hold on to, and cling to I have found I can't. You have stripped me of family, relatablility, possessions, a relationship (and a hope for one), certainty about a future, a home, even something as silly as my dog. When I look back to see all that You have taken from me, You tell me to turn my look forward and look at the things You have left me. You tell me those are the things that will tell me about what is to come.
I normally would have NEVER brought down my huge study Bible, or my journals from high school and Cambodia down from the mountain. For some reason, however, this time I did. I felt a sort of urgency to. Now I understand why, the fire is consuming almost everything in site. All I have left now are enough clothes to fit in a backpack, my camera, and my Bible and journals. God is telling me to focus on the things He has left me. I cannot go back and save anything else. All I can do is move forward with what He has given me.
I was so encouraged when I was having my quiet time. I was reading the Message and there were a couple passages that just stood out and brought me hope and joy. They brought me back into perspective as to where I am.
"When besieged, I'm calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I'm collected and cool. I'm asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with Him in His house my whole life long."
"All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God! Thank Him to His face! He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to laughter."
"I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: stay with God."
God is teaching me to be brave. Be strong. Don't give up, and expect Him to reveal Himself. I prayed to have a crazy abnormal radical life living for Him. Man, does God answer prayers, and all I can do is praise Him for it! He has provided and kept for me exactly what I need. Nothing more, nothing less. What comfort and joy I have in that alone! When I pray about my current situation, and I ask God what am I to do now, in this moment of uncertainty, He tells me, "look at what I have left you, that will tell you what you need to do." I look down by my side and all I have left is my Bible, My journals, My camera, and some clothes.
What will I do with those things? I will glorify my God! I have been stripped of all else but Him. Only in Him can I find any hope or fullfilment. He literally holds my future in His hands, I must cling to Him daily for what I need. I am so thankful He has stripped me down to nothing. Humbled me to the point needing handouts. I am so greatful because now I can better serve Him and others. I now have nothing that holds me back!
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